Taking a minute to wish all of the mothers a happy Mother's Day. Hope you have a special day, and that you get to celebrate with those you love.
I saw the above image on the web about "great moms", and got to thinking about my younger years (20's and 30's) as a mom. As I think back, I don't think I was always a good mother. I loved being a mom when my children were born and very little. I loved holding them, bathing them, feeding them, snuggling with them, and gazing at them in amazement at the perfect little wonders that were mine. Then I was a good a mom.
But, then life got in the way. When my (2) little ones were just (5) and (7), and starting school, I became a single parent, and had to go to work full time. Fortunately, my own mom lived only (5) minutes away so that my little ones could get off the bus at her house, and I knew they were safe, and well cared for until I got out of work. The few hours of free time that we had together before bedtime, I tired to make quality time, reading to them, coloring with them, and talking about their day at school. I still think I was an pretty good mom then, even though our together time was reduced.
But then life got even more complicated. I worked full time (2) jobs at one time for a few years, went to school (3) nights a week, and then my mom passed away when my children were only 12 and 9. This is when my world seemed to fall apart a bit. I left bitter and angry. I think I became a less than perfect mother as a result as well. I had little time for making sure my children were involved in after school activities like other children. I was working, going to school, involved in a relationship, and my mothering skills, as I look back slipped. There were very very few home cooked meals and easy microwave dishes, frozen pizzas and macaroni and and cheese became household staples. Somehow, my children hung in there for the bumpy ride of life. They never made me feel guilty about the way things were, nor did they cause me any problems to make life any harder than it already was.
Before I new it my children were grown. High School graduations, college graduations, their own apartments and their own lives. I use to wish for the days that life would be easier and the pace would be slower, and how quickly it came. Now life surely is easier, but sometimes I look back with just a bit of sadness for days that passed so quickly, the days I wished away.
For the two best children a mother could ever ask for, I love you and thank you for turning out to be the kind of adults any parent would be extremely proud of. And, if you my wonderful children happen to read this, thank you for the lovely dinner last night in honor of me. It was wonderful.
Happy Mother's Day
Awww, that was a really heartfelt post, thanks for sharing! There is no doubt that being a mother (and single mother to boot) is one of the hardest jobs anyone can have.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day to you too Diane! I hope it's a wonderful day for you.
What a touching piece. Your story is a variation on the stories of many single Moms. Like you, I became a single parent when my children were still fairly young. Like your children, mine had a bumpy road. But they have turned out wonderfully, and I am more proud of them than of anything else in the world. Thanks for a beautiful post that I really relate to.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day! Those years go by so fast.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day to you!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day Dianne : ) And thanks for sharing your post today. I could tell that it came straight from your heart. With lots of love.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to be a good mom all the time, especially when life sometimes gets in the way. I am sure that your kids know that all the sacrifices that you made were made for them, and I bet they wouldn't wish for any other mother than the one they had. Happy Mother's Day Diane!
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post, Diane.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling you were a much better mother than you think...your children knew their mom. Your relationship with them now is evidence of your bond.
Happy Mother's Day and thank you for the lovely tulips.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a wonderful day!
I had some very similar feelings this morning. Happy mother's day!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day, Diane! This is a truly beautiful, heartfelt post. How quickly the year pass...
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day. I loved your post. I was and am a single mom too. All we can do is our best and that is what it sounds like you did. Enjoy a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful post. I think you were a better mother than you think you were. You have wonderful grown children which proves that! I think we all do the best we can. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post with us. I understand the sadness. I miss those days of tucking my little ones into bed at night. They do grow up quickly!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day! That was really a great post!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you were a terrific mom to me! Happy Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day, Diane! I think our kids know that we do the best job that we can at the time. :)
ReplyDeleteDiane, I'll bet your children learned a lot from you during the years that you feel like you weren't a good mother. They still got fed, they saw a woman working hard to make a better life for them and they clearly turned out to be terrific people!
ReplyDeleteDiane, your post made me cry. I know all of us as mothers struggle with whether we are good mothers or not. I sure do. And being a single mother must be very hard, but you were working your jobs, etc. to make a better life for yourself and your kids. That is an important part of being a mother. Life is so chaotic and time goes by so fast. I too at times dream about the days when things will slow down, but I know there will be days when I will look back with regret on something I missed with them when they were young. We're human. Unfortunately, regret is part of our makeup. For your kids to have turned out so well, you WERE a good mother and I know they are very proud of you. Happy Mother's Day to you. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing such a thoughtful post. Your two wondeful kids are the proof that you are a good mother.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's day to you Diane!!
What a touching and heartfelt post. You had a tough road as a mother and I'm sure you did just fine with all the obstacles you had to face. It isn't being a mother in the best of circumstances and you didn't always have the best of circumstances. No regrets, my friend. You did the best you could and that is what counts. Happy Mother's Day to you!
ReplyDeleteLoved your post....but I think we're too hard on ourselves!! So much is expected of us and we can only do what we can right? I'm getting to that stage where my house will be empty in a few years and I'm so depressed about that...I identify myself most as mom...what will I be when they're gone?? Thanks so much for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day!!
Diane,
ReplyDeleteThroughout your entire post it is evident how much you love your children and did you needed to do to give them the best life possible. No way that was ever a mistake.
Happy Mother's Day.
What a touching post! I think you were a wonderful mother :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day to you!
Diane, Thanks for the heads up warning. I can see myself slipping into the kind of hard working mom who wishes away the last precious years while the kids are at home. Hope I get as lucky as you did with good kids who land well. Thanks for sharing your mothering journey.
ReplyDeleteAwww, you made me teary with that post. I'd say you did your best to keep you and your kids afloat. I think that's a good mom. Happy Late Mother's Day Diane!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mothers Day! This is a great reminder that the days really do go by so fast.
ReplyDeleteAs a former single mom I can relate to a lot of what you wrote, but I think we both did the best we could do.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great day!
Happy Mother's Day! What a great post - you are so introspective and honest - that is not always easy to do especially when it concerns your children.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a fabulously normal person and mother! :) Happy Mother's Day!! I hope you treated yourself well, and I want to thank you for such an open post and for sharing this with all of us!
ReplyDeleteWow, nice to know I'm not the only mother out there who went through the same thing. It's heartwrenching to me that single mothers have to spend so much time working in order to support their kids. And that men can be such flakes that they just don't give a shit about their children. I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience.
ReplyDeleteWe can never beat ourselves up over parenting. We are all amateurs. I was a SAHM and still ran into some very tough parenting years with my last child. I can "own" what I coulda shoulda woulda done, without going on a guilt trip -- they're so unproductive. Happy Mothers Day,every day!
ReplyDeleteThe honesty of this post blew me away, Diane. I have a cousin who went through (still is) going through a similar thing and I always tell her to judge herself by the quality of her kids because she obviously did something right. If your two are giving you a Mother's Day dinner you obviously did good too :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Belated Mother's Day!
Thank you for sharing, Diane! I loved your story and you reminded me so much of my mom. She's a single parent, too, and had done so much for the six of us. Happy belated Mother's Day to you!
ReplyDelete